i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Why didn't you tell me that Dad was a registered sex offender?
We were going to tell you eventually, how'd you find out?
Our school resource officer showed us how to use Family Watchdog and pulled up his picture.
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I'm not mad at you for letting me use my air mattress as a toilet, i'm mad at you for letting me lay back down on it.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
Say what you want about my van, but I've got more action there than in my apartment. A body pillow and a joint still go a long way!
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
All I remember thinking is, why the fuck are there martians on the ceiling? And they were riding fruit. Like strawberries and shit.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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