Countdown til Saturday. I'd assume we're somewhere around 10,000 bottles of beer on the wall.
My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just ran into that guy that tried to take a dump in your pool
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
Sorry I don't make house calls. You wanna get blown you come over here. It's like rock paper scissors but vagina ALWAYS beats penis
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
Put viagra in his coffee. I did that with Geoff last month and three hours later I had bitten through a throw pillow and gotten a noise complaint from a neighbor
Just saw a car towing a guy on skis drive by so that’s how Syracuse is doing today.
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