He asked me if I "almost moaned"
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
She was so happy she found her sunglasses, that she blew me. Im now randomly hiding things of hers in hopes she'll find them and I'll get a repeat performance.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
I think the tooth fairy visited me last night... after I chipped my tooth n blacked out, I woke up to my purse filled with cocaine n sequins.
She was drunk and naked on our couch, sweating and masterbating to SNL. We made eye contact and she didn't even stop. It's new-roommate-o-clock
i am willing to donate my body to this science experiment when it means free blowjobs
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
I was sitting here smiling wondering why i'm so fucking happy at work. cookie has kicked in
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
There is a couple fucking in the outback bathroom and at first I thought it was sick but than I remembered my Outback fantasy with you and decided I can't pass judgements.
Randomize
