just tell him he has love handles, he'll die of insecurity
i just saw a man dusting the fake palm trees at the mall
...welcome to nebraska
i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
So I'm pretty sure I fucked the dept of homeland security guy on my kitchen table. No recollection of it, but there are signs.
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Got really high to see my fist college experience unfold. Too high to find my classroom but I found the McDonald's down the street
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
