Just made out with a pet sitter. His biz card says "even hamsters". Lowest point in my life.
i need an iv and a liver transplant
So tired and we had a cokehead in the salon today making us bleach her whole head because she thought it would let her pass her drug test for custody of her kid
Oh.My.God.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
Is it bad that when I see babies I feel bad for them because its going to be forever until they are 21?
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
It's like a challenge who can be the biggest embarrassment to the family. I win 80% of the time.
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
I lied. Can't workout today. Only exercises I'm currently capable of doing are breathing ones to keep last night's drinks ending up all over the classroom.
Can we fangirl? Can we have fangirl Tuesdays?
Sure lol what's that?
Oh, dear, sweet Laura. Please start singing A Whole New World. I have Aladdin's part, you're Jasmine.
Why?
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I felt like a personal hot pocket and all I could taste was cigarettes.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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