hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
Rocking a Headband at the strip club, because of Rock of Love this shit is like their kryptonite, I smell like stripper butter and back child support.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
Dude. Creed is coming in september.
We're no longer friends.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
At the pride parade. It's not even noon and I'm drunk as shit... for equality of course
I just realized I am holding a beer in 133 out of 134 photos of me on my facebook page.
Nobody is perfect
I'm at Waffle House wearing one of the paper hats in the other
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
I'm getting shit face wasted, and I have to be up so early tomorrow. I am bad at smart.
It's 3:30pm, I've been out of bed for an hour and spent most of that barfing. We're switching to beer next debate.
Just remember that I named his dick Robo-cock before he got into the sheriff's department.
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
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