So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
my summer class's final was canceled bc it interfered with the world cup. he is giving us all A's on it. I love europe
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
She said that I needed to "pregame her so it can slip right in."
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Don't. You get on the 18 year old. I'll get on the 38 year old. Together we will bridge 2 decades of cock.
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
You should have just fucked me in the bathroom when you had a chance!
i'll...probably just offer you drugs?
i'll...probably take them in all honesty
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
i don't think the phrases "so shitty" & "taking care of my newborn" should be combined in the same sentence. leave it to her to make it possible eh?
Randomize
