You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
hooking up with my manager sounds like an even better idea while i'm sober.
dude, my ass and shoulder hurt from that kayak last night... note to self: wood planks holding kayak from ceiling do not also hold up a human being
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
Tell them to carpool to pride, have a 3way, and if one says 'no thanks' just tell em it's not gay if it happened in a 3way!
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
Note to self: remember to figure out whether melted cheese is a liquid when not stoned
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
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