did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
ok plan lets look hot and dance like whores.
my goal in life is to wake up with my underwear on
I unwillingly was the ball between four hungry hippos last night. I thought the one chick was actually going to eat me
hes totally cute, too bad i slept with his father
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The girl who overdosed in the bathroom at work is back....help?
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Where were you last night, and why am I not surprised that drag queens were involved?
I found a blow up pig at an adult store. He will have to fuck that on video if he wants anal. Also, I bought a pair of clear high heels. Tell your brother I love him.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
In between explaining the best feminist lenses for the myth of Persephone and doing vodka shots with my friends she dragged me into my car and gave me an Earth shattering blow job. Honestly I think I'm in love.
i woke up this morning wearing my pants as a scarf and my shirt as a daiper, my boyfriends contact name in my phone is "human sacrifice" and yours is "i like eggs"....can someone please tell me what happened last night
We were trying to organize all the customers to hold a window pickle race. as of 10:37 pm last night we are no longer allowed in our McDonalds.
Randomize
