I only have two rules. But i've fotgotten those rules and replaced them w 2 other rules
Sometimes I think its so cool that a dick that has been inside kate moss has also been inside me. So exciting.
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
After a certain blood-alcohol level, the dog is in charge.
uhh when the x-ray tec was moving your head you licked his hand and meowed.. i think he knew you weren't sober
The reign of the rally queen is over. Welcome to the age of the walking dead.
Remember when we partied so hard that dude died and it cockblocked you hooking up with my sister?
I forgot that happened. That's the second dude that died on a vacation I've been on
Why do I have a bunch of cash....and your bra.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
i really need to shower, but i don't want to take off my bra and lose my cleavage. the struggle
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
It's the 3rd day of the year and I've already sucked two dicks. New year same ole me.
I haven't been single on my birthday for 7 years. If you don't get me laid tonight, your best friend/wing woman status will be revoked.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
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