this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Nothing says 'good morning' like waking up only to realize this chick was watching you sleep. She's crazy
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
I was talking to another guy at the bar last night and all of a sudden a flying piece of Sausage lands on my boobs. Then I hear my boyfriend yell, "just marking my territory."
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
So immediately after we finished having sex she started singing, "The Circle of Life", put her clothes on and then just left. I think I'm in love.
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
My only positive piece of news is that my roommate is moving home for the summer, so our stress-relief sex will be much easier to get away with.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
We have to do it Saturday and get a thirty. If i remember correctly it takes me 12 beers to become a wizard
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
Randomize
