Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
Can you please come and collect your boss off of my kitchen floor.
So what exactly does one do when my driver gets a DUI and is now arrested and I'm still hiding in the trunk?
I also tried to solve my dog's itching problem with crystal healing. I'm so high, dude.
I just rubbed amethyst all over him and kept saying 'no bites.'
We need to leave a grand offering for the god of free booze and salvia.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
Just cuz I'm recovering alcoholic does NOT make me the taxi for you every weekend
Don't do him, he's a Dolphins fan! A FUCKING DOLPHINS FAN!
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
well I ran around the park drunk with a plastic baby and fell, all while screaming "I WILL PROTECT YOU CARLOS", yeah there's video
Listen, all I’m saying is, if you’re lying naked next to a hot chick, you don’t start discussing dental hygiene.
Randomize
