4:12a: just got back to his place now. I don't want to talk about it
Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
why do they call them blowjobs? ....unless i'm doing it wrong?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I've had three separate encounters with cops in the last 9 hours.... In two different states
He wrote me a Haiku titled, "Let me touch your butt".
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
we decided to take the jello everclear shot at the party...didnt think it tasted any different....o dear god...the regret..
I saw some guy masturbating in the Burger King parking lot and I’m just fucking done
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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