I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
They left shortly after you claimed the dirty rug as your mattress and began alternating between singing "Dayman" and "Nightman"
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
My econ prof just gave me a shot glass because I was the "randomly picked" winner of the lecture. Ties into our supply and demand lecture, supplied with a shot glass, demand a thirsty thursday
in case you were wondering, even a BJ under a blanket on the back of a bus only lifts a 14-hour bus ride to borderline tolerable.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
And then he serenaded me with "Pimps don't cry" from 'The Other Guys'. If that's not love I'm not sure what is
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
You kept yelling "NO CAPES" at me for no apparent reason
The only person more miserably hungover from the party is the dog, and that's because he ate some balloons
so evidently blowing a guy does not mean he will say hi to you when he sees you in class.. in case you're ever wondering
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
Randomize
