Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
Before I left he asked me if I could submit my panties for the frat house undergarment chandelier. I said yes
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Oh, AND I met a ukulele teacher that I'd date. So there's that.
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
You left me a drunk voicemail of you describing your pizza to me at 2 AM
You're the only guy I know who could convince a lady at the pharmacy to trade you her pain pills for your antibiotics.
I'm at 45 minutes post orgasm, and I still feel my insides spasming. Pretty sure I just fucked Superman.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
