Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
They got me high and left me at the mall with a giftcard for $400. I need an adult.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
yea plus he's gonna be wearing his gumby costume so that'll take a lot of pressure off too
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
I wish I knew the extent of my injuries before I climbed over the fence. Might have avoided the need to purchase a cupholder for my wheelchair.
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
The housekeeper found my huge dildo under the bathroom sink, and another in the living room. I can't get much more single than this.
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
Sorry I missed your call. I was in the shower washing away my sins and sweat. Please tell me you want to get drunk as shit later.
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
I. Am. Not. Tattooing. My. Penis.
Randomize
