Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Is Jonathan Taylor Thomas a gay? I need you to google search it for me. Its important
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
The drive thru lady at McDonald's asked how I was and I responded by opening the car door and throwing up all over the drive thru lane. Happy Sunday.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
Randomize