ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
can you explain why there is a dead rabbit in my front seat?
idk, I had a turtle in mine.
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Ok. So I've woke up in a hospital. New thing to top that.... Waking up and realizing you've been locked inside the bar by urself at 430 am and all the doors are locked by key
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
she wanted me to tie her up with my playstation charger cord. i kept on hoping she wasn't a squirter. those cords r expensive. could have def been a Sony commercial tho
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Randomize
