so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
Girls only wine night turned into a sloppy drunk lesbian orgy again
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
I can't be drunk. Sober yes. Drunk no. Spoonfuls
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
Bacon Cheddar rum burgers are as great as they sound. I knew that 100 proof Captain would be good for something other than vomit.
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
About to throw up, bathroom line up, Bro sees me. Yells, 'PUKER GET OUT OF WAY' THEY ALL PARTED WAY THREW ME INTO A STALL AND CHEERED AS I THREW UP INTO THE TOILET. we are going back
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
I'm proud of all of us. Somehow we all survived another Jägerbomb Tuesday
He left a fire sauce packet from taco bell that said "promise you'll text me in the morning" on my nightstand.
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
Should I put the spider I likely swallowed in my sleep into my calorie tracker?
Randomize
