you didnt have any toilet paper so I just took a shower
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
Where else am I to apply my creativity?
I don't know. Anywhere productive and not involving sex toys would be a start.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
I want to know him. He looks like he makes really good breakfast burritos.
Dude she's on meds. He has a ginormous penis. Ur A dumbass. That concludes our feelings chat. Dim Sumday?
I'm doing homework tonight but if you end up going out drinking I would like one courtesy peer pressure text.
She did my hair, then ate me out. Switching teams was an awesome decision.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
No worries. On my way home to get ski poles and wipe the sick off my face. Then it's time to get drunk in the park
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Put an egg in my coffee filter this morning. I think I am still drunk.
That said I did get head on the roof of a 15 story building which, regardless of quality, is still cool
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize