Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
my best friend tried to rape me with a pineapple
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
They told you that you couldn't fit in the dryer. Man, did they eat their words. You did brake the door though.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
I'm a sociology major remember
Well that and comm
Basically you majored in how to get laid
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
I wouldn't marry anyone who wouldn't symbolically fuck a doughnut with a sausage though.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
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