Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
That is romantic
Well sometimes you just gotta put your dicks and pizzas together to show you care
Fucking suck it up and drink your feelings like a normal human being.
You just wait. When you see me foam roll naked, you're going to lose your mind.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
Randomize
