We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
i saw her thong sticking out from across the bar...that was my cue
They were like stripper heels, except business stripper heels, the kind strippers would wear to court.
it was literally the size of a crayloa marker. i didnt know what to do with it so i just sat there
Just found a ramen cup in the stall and all of the showers running with no one in them. WHERE ARE YOU?
ALL CAPS CUZ ITS SERIOUS SHAME.
It all boils down to, who else do we know that is willing to buy our friendship?
Also, I guess I made friends with the guy who caught me peeing behind a bush.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
We turned a wake into a bar crawl.
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
Randomize
