I have to get up uber early tomorrow. Which is why I started drinking early today
Dear everyone that texted me last night wondering where i was. i ended up face down blacked up drunk before i made it to the party. My bad
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
We should probably just have a threeway and get everyone on the same page.
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
If I go there, please come with. It will accelerate the lesbian rumor but be totally worth it.
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
The number of males in the usa getting circumsized are decreasing. Keep this in mind when we become cougars
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
The groom's brother was an accomplishment. Then I remembered he was also the officiant. Check and check.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
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