I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
Game over. He has a paternity test request on his table.
I let him do a line off my nipple in exchange for his prescription pain pills. I feel like 3/4 Vegas stripper, 1/4 underbelly of society.
I'm hurting so bad I actially had to wait for my mini wheats to get soggy before I could eat them..
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just saw a fat guy on a flower print moped. He's my hero.
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
