508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
dude, i have to cancel tonight, my neighbor just bought a goat
I'm glad I booty called you last night. It was nice to see you and talk, in between all the sex...
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I have never fucking hated the horrible sound of dozens of off-key recorders BLARING their fucked rendition of "Fais Do-Do" in unison against the screams of an adult male... more than I do now. This is why people avoid teaching. Kill me. End it all.
I'm shaving my vagina to the lion king soundtrack. How's your 9am?
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Sorry about you walking in on the whole nude kinect dancing. The new roomie was drunk and naked and told us he was either over dressed or we were under dressed for the party. And Amy figured it would be easier to join him than it would be to dress him
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