Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I don't do stupid things anymore. I do stupid people.
I was in the bathroom and her cat just looked at my penis with a profound hatred.
my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
She had a little wicker basket of condoms by her bed. Disturbing yet convenient.
Did you really just use your nipple as a unit of measurement?
It was scary, we all screamed. Never make mimosas in a car.
Question: would Brian be pissed if I brought his 17 year old sister as my date to the wedding?
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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