Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
I may or may not be laying in bed naked watching The Nanny. Niles is so spunky.
i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
You actually went to class. Im eating dry cereal naked and watching bring it on.
I can't. I will literally throw up my liver
Why dont you be an ebola patient for halloween? You can totally throw up and itll be part of your costume.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
Her delivery came. She's ordered a pack of 144 condoms.
I have accepted that I am a sexual predator. What I can't accept is the lack of sexual men for me to seduce in this town.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
I just split a tacobell party box with my boss. 12 tacos. We were equals for a moment.
Randomize
