You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
She's drinking vodka out of a windex bottle. She is spraying it in her mouth and at strangers.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
Okay let's look at your past accomplishments you've done hungover... Sat great score, academic decathlon, state for track. I think you are solid to go out tonight
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
Hahahaha don't tempt me. Remember we're trying to avoid airport jail if possible
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
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