I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
ask if his dick looks like a sausage. alex's bro told me that's a sure sign. btw took pain pills. maybe shouldn't listen to me.
I want to jerk off but my dog won't leave me alone. It's the most depressing cock block ever.
I'm to the point in my high that every song eventually turns into Lady Gaga
Nothing says true friendship like 2 people bonding over potentially having AIDS.
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
season finale of lost and an oz of weed. tonight my mind is going to be blown.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
Getting drunk at 9 am is not a super power.
I mean seriously, she can have his dick anytime and im over here salivating like a thirsty bitch.
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
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