fuck your aforementioned shoe
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
We played "race the Jimmy John's driver". Order, then see if we can finish sex before the food arrives.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
This may be the alcohol talking, but I'm pretty sure I know Spanish now
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
It might look like I curled my hair last night but it's just the jiz.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
i believe in u and ur pee
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Randomize
