Is it wrong to want to cut a hole in the Tigger suit so I can molest you while I wear it?
She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
i just entered cocaine into my calorie counter.
I keep forgetting that I only have two nostrils.
just went to my meeting with last nights make up still on, not wearing a bra, and the 14 shot tallies still on my wrist.. My advisor's questions should be answered as to why I'm not in my major yet.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
Should I tell her she gave me head in the kitchen while I was eating a cupcake or would that hurt her dignity too much?
You ad-libbed two DETAILED rounds of price is right, 1 wheel of fortune, and 1 deal or no deal.... by yourself with sound effects and music included
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
She is the absolute last thing I would want to screw. Honestly. Fellating a porcupine. Higher on the list.
I may or have may not just taken a swig out of a jar of alfedo sauce in my fridge. Dont judge me
Have you had sex with a man from New Zealand? No? Then your input is invalid.
if I hear Wonderful Christmastime one more time I'm putting my foot up Paul McCartney's ass.
Randomize
