When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
A female Wisconsin fan just headbutted the bouncer. Im deeply terrified and oddly aroused at the same time.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
My glasses smell like tequila. I just put them on and almost threw up.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
Are you alive?
I woke up under the pier.
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I have a magical vagina and I can't deny it anymore
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
My guy issues hinge on tonight's game. Caps win, it's Dustin. Rangers win, Josh. I even flipped a coin to see who got what team
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I look over and the both of you are naked, and he's eating chicken nuggets off the floor
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Randomize
