Happy Easter!!!
I'm an idiot
Singing into hair straightener during spice girls....sooo dangerous
I thought he was joking about bailing you out until I saw the picture of you and the sheep in the morning paper. Were those my boots you had on it
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
his version of basketball was throwing hot sauce packets down my cleavage at taco bell at 2 am with his buddy.the cashier kept score
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Her tits are absolutely massive. Like ripleys believe it or not shit
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
Whatever, you're gonna have to break it to mom that the reason I was so drunk at Christmas dinner is because she wouldn't stop asking me why I don't have a boyfriend
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Never again will I go to my mom's side of the family's parties. After the bride and groom cut the head off the roasted pig together they boarded their RV and rode off into the sunset.
Randomize
