I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
don't you miss dr. quinn: medicine woman? i do.
BROstal carolina. Watching a boy drinking rum and coke out of a cup of noodle empty cup.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
Should i put up a tasteful banner for your party that says last chance to sleep with maya?
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
making my breakfast out of the pot brownies we made last night. Safe to say it's time to go grocery shopping.
The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that I'm the solution to all of T-Swift's guy problems.
My dick has a subreddit
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
You're the best thing in my life, followed closely by cannabis and trashy romance novels
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
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