Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
the cool security guard showed me the video clip of how i sat criss-cross-applesauce on the elevator for 20 minutes last night
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
He's rapping about a turtle neck sweater. Please come get me.
I had a 10 minute conversation with the refrigerator, it was telling me how it likes to be opened and closed. Ecstasy, I love you.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
Getting blackout drunk infront of my family was never on my bucket list, but now that I've done it I'm cool with it.
Randomize