Ok let's jusst not talk today bc then we'll just do dangerous things but I'll say hello
your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I will not remember tonight for the most part. This text will be evidence. You can and probably will use this against me.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
She apologized again the next day. I said it was pee under the bridge
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
Drunk level: ugly crying in the bar upon discovery of sweet tarts and not smarties.
Randomize
