Holy shit I just stopped short on route 18 because I thought my gps was saying I had to turn right in 11 feet. After almost hitting the guardrail I realized I had to turn in 11 miles.
Fuck I'm high.
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
drunk doesn't even begin to explain it. dude called him and said to bring you back because he'd already called dibs.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
So, I'm drinking, and I put my head down in the table. The cat jumped up to check on me, I have a cat sober monitor.
Wat day did I have sex in my sleep? I just made a Dr appt for Friday and I want to talk to her about it
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
I ripped off the screen and literally supermaned through my bedroom window. That wasted
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
I feel like I have the I just lost my virginity face and everyone at the grocery store knows it.
Randomize
