We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
Taking jello shots out of a big bowl from a measuring spoon. holla atcha boy.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
the point of no return was when you "drugged" his drink with glitter. face-planting on his dick was beyond.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He sent me a selfie with his cat. He has found a way to my heart. And pants.
well he said my boobs made him believe in love at first sight so that's cool
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
Went to open youtube this morning, and the last search was "ten hours of whale sounds" Best pillow talk ever!
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
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