My mom says you aren't allowed to eat doritos at my house
OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
in the 'for' section of the check i put "when we got drunk and broke things". again im sorry.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I think she's a little more wasted than usual. She just crawled on the floor to tell mom it was time to take a shot.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
She was wasted talking to my dad about the hunger games than she passed out in the shower and flooded the hotel room...
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
He is nice. Kind of short though. But didn't try to rub his jean cock on me.
Which I appreciated.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
I just made some sangria and taking a roadie on my stroller walk around the hood! Parenting at its finest
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