I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
Yep Great. Apparently I didn't just say things once that night. Drink. Yell. Repeat.
U also mentioned u werent wearing any underwear hahahaha
thank you for introducing me to everyone on chat roulette as I was passed out.
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Obama is so hot when he ends wars.
You insisted on take shots off of plates.
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
Yessssss I diiiiid! I enjoyed 38% of it. There are 4 qualifications and 2 were good. 1. There is a penis in my vagina (Pass) 2. It's a big penis (Fail) 3. The sex is long and exciting and makes me sweat and have 6 pack abs (fail) 4. I got off (uhhh potential to pass...)
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
There is a Victoria's Secret pageant on right now with Taylor Swift singing in lingerie. I didn't know a penis could get this erect.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
Fuck man, I am really high rn and all I've eaten is different forms of pie
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
Randomize
