why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Listen, Pinot Grigio got me pregnant. It can get you a boyfriend.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
I'm too drunk to be surrounded by this many indians
How do you manage to be drunk and a racial minority so often?
you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I ate all his french fries. He was no longer useful to me.
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Pornhub is actually a very wholesome website
Just had the biggest masturbatory crisis ever.
What does that mean?
Internet is down.
Randomize
