Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
Do you think she's aware of my deep hatred or should I set her hair on fire in her sleep?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
Not sure why I sent you a picture of a black bear last night but it seemed like a good idea at the time.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
Let me get this straight, you're telling me to lower my standards? Even though last week you told me I don't have any..?
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Dicks are not precious.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
Randomize
