how hairy? two words: wookie tits
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
she pooped in my shower. pooped. woke me up and said she thought she farted but it wasnt a fart i went back 2 sleep and found it hours later. no longer hooking up w chicks my moms age.
Drank beer out of a hotwheels bucket all night
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
you asked "if this appropriate to take the the bathroom?" while holding up a bottle of vodka when you went to pee.
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
I'm dying. The alcohol is viciously exiting my tiny body.
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
I blame everything on you. My broken heart, my fucked up liver and my twisted mind.
Randomize
