I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
We should totally stay in at new years, have sex and try to time orgasm to the countdown
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
Would you still love me and fuck me doggie style if I had a dinosaur tramp stamp?
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
GIIIIRL I AM STONED AF AND I HAVE A HOMEMADE POT PIE IN THE OVEN THIS PARTY IS LIT.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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