I love sluts.
I end my prayers with that every single night.
im too high. i could barely wash my hair, let alone handle a whole shower
she kept calling me pablo. i just went with it.
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
I don't think the best pickup line was. Hey I have never made a girl orgasm before but I'm sure it will work on someone like you.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
You need a sexual gate keeper
I think our prof has caught onto our drinking game. He burst into the room with a big smile on his face and yelled "essentially! Essentially! Essentially!"
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
If I shall die, I wish to bequeath to you my personal library, my sigma tau delta presidency and all it's apparel, and a puppy.
It’s only loud for those who wanna get loud. The bowlers are protected.
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