No, that was before the police came, but after the hooker.
I accidentally screamed the wrong name last night. He stopped for a second, said "fuck it, you're too hot to care," and then continued fucking me.
The ratio of how much he pisses me off to how much sex i get just isnt working out for me
that beer fried lasagna last night was sooo good
that wasnt beer fried lasagna, you just poured beer on my lasagna
I'm pretty sure that if I didn't have a gerbil with a shotgun in my uterus I would think i was knocked up cuz all I want is hot sauce
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Life update - currently drunk off my ass in the yoga room of SFO at 5:30 in the morning.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
I just ran into my psychology professor at Planned Parenthood she asked why I was there and I asked why she was there and it turns out we both had a scare.#bonding because of abortion.
Randomize
