some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
I'm sorry i'm just too high to handle anything besides pirates of the caribbean right now.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
he called me back to his office so he could lick a line of pixie stick off of my thigh
be sure to add "office slut" to your resume
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
Im drunk on a hayride surrounded by toddlers. they are judging me.
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
One huge ass giant mistake followed by celebatory shots and coors lights thats my day in a nut shell
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I want Samuel L. Jackson to stand beside me and narrate my morning shits.
I just took what could be the most awkward shit in my life, which considering my definition of awkward and my experiences shitting, is pretty fucking awkward.
...
I was sitting there doing my business and the guy in the stall next to me banged on the stall and asked me how to spell picnic because he wasn't sure.
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