I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
Michael Jackson and Farah Fawcett are dead
NOOOOOOOO not MJ! Someone tell the paramedic to grab him by the heart and just "Beat it"
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I can feel my ovaries exploding thinking about them.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Her son walked in on us and asked if he could "wrestle too."
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Randomize
