I'm so bored and have no one to sexy text
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
i just ran into our bio chem professor at the bar. apparently, he doesn't follow the "no slapping your students' asses" rule.
Just because you put plan b in my Easter basket doesn't give you an excuse not to wear a condom.
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
He smells like sex and magic. I’m already naming our children
Maybe you should talk to him first
Cancel your plans for the fourth someone is streaming iron chef on twitch
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