Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
just because she blew him doesn't mean she knows his name.
turn left when you see the girl thats puking on the sidewalk. she hasnt been moving much so she makes a good street marker
we knew you were done when they played It's All Coming Back To Me Now by Celine Dion and you started crying
found my necklace. it was safe with all 6 boxes of peeps that i bought that night.
We're gonna take a moment of silence to pray... that his penis is as pretty and as talented as his brothers.
Why are you speaking in third person?
Because I'm so hungover that I don't even want to be myself anymore.
What shitty, shitty thing could you possibly tell me that doesnt top the fact that i got hammered and showed everyone i could shit while running
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Most girls get hit on with a $7.00 drink. You get hit on with a $750K plane.
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
Why can't you just be normal and get dick pics from your exes like everyone else?
I just found your shirt hanging in a tree 4 blocks from the party...in the opposite direction of your house. where are you going?
Randomize
