I have to decide between the hot young blond with no apparent gag reflex, and the brunette with a great ass and a trust fund.
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Sorry I tried to blow your roommate in your room. I felt more at home there.
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
I woke up with a piece of pizza duct taped too my hand and a paragraph written on my chest. Good night is say
I taped a pair of scissors and a coupon for a waxing on the door. He gets to choose.
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
Just peed off a cliff while playing white snake on my phone. Close enough?
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
Randomize
