Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
Just tried to fight the dj at cowboys because he would'nt play freebird. Pick me up now.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
Her life is filled with shit luck. Its like mother nature is having her period and just taking it out on her specifically.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
Like if a baby's bottom had nipples, that's how my boobs feel
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
You know you are high when you are so glad it wasn't your freshly buttered raisin bread that fell on your foot. It was your $400 Ipod
If I'm going to keep blacking out this much I need to start taking more pictures.
This drunk girl kept yelling for water so I dipped a cup in the toilet and gave it to her. She was thanking me all night.
Dont you look at me in that tone of voice
She said my penis was powerful and magnificent
Randomize
