just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
The bar owner gave me permission to push people into the pool. I'm never going to leave Los Angeles
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
If he shows up in a "mount n dew" me shirt im throwing him to the lesbians
Teeth make me feel like a dinosaur. Can you feel yours?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
So high that I just walked into class, late, sat down in my desk, and tried to buckle my seatbelt.
So I FINALLY get to start out a story, "So there I was, naked except for a toboggan hat and handcuffs..."
Randomize
