I'm gonna start referring to my vag as my ladygarden
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
just printed out my drug dealers resume for him. guess the ecstasy scene slows down when kids move back home for the summer...
Left and drinking by a bar by myself. Everyone is in pajamas. I'm in a tuxedo. This is my life.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
Things I Learned Tonight: I have no future in goat wrangling. Herding. Whatever you call the ridiculosity that just transpired.
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
You're such a good friend. You send me pictures of your boobs when I'm sad. I will always appreciate that.
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
where are you guys?
stoned at his house watching water boil
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
Dick pics just aren’t doing it for me, this bowl of Mac n cheese and Game of Thrones trump you tenfold
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