I can’t believe the potential orgy I left behind at Waffle House.
some girl had on jean underwear. i hate america.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
My parents foreign exchange student just walked in on me whacking off. Welcome to America :)
I tried doing a handstand in the middle of the bar and I ended up kicking this old guy in the face and broke his glasses. Thats how I got kicked out
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
Whiskey and I have a long and stories tradition of excellence
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
not sure if destroying him emotionally was worth it but damn it's a fucking hilarious story
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
I dont remember you getting a condom thrown at you. I think I had a concusion
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
Randomize
