woke up naked, spooning with wine bottle.. and my video chat was still open. fuck, not again.
is the fantasy fufillment of sex in a hot tub worth the possible infection?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
Between my vibrator and my iPhone carpal tunnel is inevitable.
Excellent idea. Nothing says "congrats for resurrecting yourself, Jesus" like Greygoose at noon!
somehow he and i always have our deepest conversations after phone sex.
In that case, I'll try 2 find a date. But my options are AA friends or fuck buddies.
Alls I remember is making out with that chick.
Nope that was a dude
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Lol what? Monday night impromptu acid drop was the alternative.
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
