Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I am good. I dancing. Drinking but dancing fine.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
I am too drunk to deal with your everything. Reread this everytime you feel the need to talk to me.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
He is a sweet angel sent from dick heaven!
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
Randomize