i just lost my virginity for the 9th time. when will guys stop believing that nonsense line
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
So I'm seriously not complaining - but I just fell ass backwards into a Tuesday night threesome. Sober
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I WILL PAPERCUT YOUR URETHRA YOU DO NOT STEAL A MANS SECOND BIG MAC
She had YOLO tattooed on her ass. Like, one cheek said YO, the other said LO. Even I can't handle that level of hot mess.
Watching a guy masturbate in real time is a lot less theatrical than porn had me to believe.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
Just had a med school interview with that doctor I fucked in college. He remembered. Asked if I still have my nipple rings. Overall, I think it went well.
He stopped mid thrust ... To check snap chat .. From his roomie
Not gonna lie I just got drunk and started doing applications because I know I'm going into work tomorrow still drunk
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
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