Omg! Love it! Cant find L*****
What!!?? Like after last night you lost her?
Yea me and L***** came back to out hotel at 3am to regroup then went back out; police and 2 bars later, I don't know what happened. Vegas is nuts!
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
There is a homeless man handing out free beer on the city bus. He has a cooler and everything. I love this trashy yet generous city.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Please tell me I didn't help an old woman shave her vagina last night. Please.
That's the least of the fucked up shit you did last night dude.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
My mom just drunk texted me complaining about her genitals smelling like Taco Bell. I really am her son
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I have never been that aroused while laughing my ass off in my life
Randomize
