Gfs sis is in town. Its awkwardly obv that we want to fuck each other.
Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
This martini tastes like the bartender stirred it with his foreskin.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Wackin it to the USA womens soccer team. My own personal way of saying job well done.
Kristy will be communicating through my phone. Due to her current blood alcohol level, the laws of Pennsylvania, Erie county, and common decency have deemed that she is no longer permitted to have her own phone.
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
Note to self: don't practice nerdy white girl dance choreography in the company bathrooms no matter how nice the huge mirrors and lighting are.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
PANTIES FOUND
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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