so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
Welp...herpes.
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Does he know anything about your personal life besides what you look like without clothes on?
Someones grandma was rubbing my back. I'm way too high for this.
I don't know what to tell you, usually I would just ask if they'd like to meet the captain. If you can't get laid it's your problem.
She was literally passed out in a cubicle with a flask in her hand. I LOVE finals week!
I woke up smelling like chlorine with a broke toe. They know how to fucking party on lake lanier.
I feel like I got ass raped in the brain.
You gave my cousin a blowjob and are facebook friends with my mom. Is there a name for this level of friendship?
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
and i walked downstairs to find my brother using nunchucks, and making the appropriate noises. i simply asked "why"; his reply? "why the fuck do you think?". i love my family.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
they were drunk. and loud. and now they're drunk and quiet. or dead, you never know.
Randomize